Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Emotional David Andrews says he didn’t want to play for any team other than the Patriots - NBC Sports

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is the best way to end a relationship with someone who has future plans with you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What is one small habit that has transformed your life in unexpected ways?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Trump asks Congress to pull $9.4 billion in funding for NPR, PBS and foreign aid - Axios

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Different Autism Genes, Same Brain Signature - Neuroscience News

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How to take pictures of the Northern Lights with Google Pixel and other Android phones - 9to5Google

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Reality TV star sparks outrage after sharing video of shocking scene at local beach: 'This is unacceptable' - Yahoo

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Listen to the eerie sounds of Mars recorded by a NASA rover - Mashable

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

Why are breasts attractive?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

How targeting Iran's nuclear facilities could impact the environment - ABC News - Breaking News, Latest News and Videos

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Hailee Steinfeld & Josh Allen marry in west coast ceremony - Buffalo Rumblings

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy bullshit

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”